When Diwali Feels Different: Observations of a Quiet Celebration
The streets are alive with lights, laughter, and the hum of celebration. Shops display colorful decorations, families rush to buy sweets, and firecrackers echo in the distance. I walk past it all, noticing everything, but feeling strangely apart from it. I see neighbors exchanging gifts, friends laughing over dinner, and children running around with sparklers. I want to join in, to feel that excitement — but my own reality reminds me to step back. My finances aren’t great this year, and the thought of gifts, parties, or new clothes brings more anxiety than joy. For a long time, I thought avoiding people would protect me from judgment. But solitude brings its own weight. Watching everyone else celebrate reminds me of what I can’t participate in, and that sting is hard to ignore. Advice like “don’t take it personally” feels hollow. Of course I feel excluded — that’s human. I realize that coping doesn’t mean pretending I’m fine. It means noticing my feelings and being gentle with myself. ...